[dean : : : digital domain]

Wise man once said," You can't win lottery if you don't buy a ticket."

Toto fever hit me and some close friends today. The first prize today is worth $2.8million! Imagine, being instantly rich if you were to strike the jackpot. I think that is the essence of the Singaporean Dream. To be instantly rich. Yet, come to think of it, how would you react if you were suddenly rich?

If I was to be suddenly rich, I'll jump with joy and be happy beyond words! I mean, imagine your bank account swelling up by so many digits! The bank will even treat you like a king! Haha... I guess for the first night, I can hardly sleep. Just thinking about how lucky I am, and how my financial burdens are relieved in some ways. I'll even be thinking on how to spend the money. Most definitely, I'll give my friends a treat. ;)

Most importantly, of course, will be share my fortunes with my family, especially my parents. It would finally be their time to rest and enjoy life. I'll get my dad to quit his job, so that he and my mom can go on holidays. They don't even have to worry about the education of my other siblings; I'll take care of that. If you know how hard it takes to raise a child, imagine the efforts my parents go through to raise their 7 children. If you still don't know the efforts needed, ask your parents. Or better yet, have your own children! The point is, what I've earned, is indirectly earned by my parents. That is what people meant, by fruits of labour.

Having settled the family side, it would suffice to say that I'll put the money into good use. There are so many ways to do that, it's a matter of choice really. On a more personal side, I'll indulge in a bit of luxury. Eventually I will have to plan on how to earn the most important luxury: a peace of mind.

That's right. A peace of mind is a luxury. Day to day our minds are troubled by one thing or another. Who will pay the bills? Who will pay for our food? How shall we pay our rent? How can we ensure our loved ones are taken care of after we leave? Such questions will eventually creep into our minds. We are so accustomed to stress and worries that we become blind to enjoying life. At times, we are even cynical when the chance to enjoy life comes along. Is a peace of mind really hard to achieve? At what cost can that peace be earned? Perhaps, the peace comes only when we're dead? If so, maybe that's why more people are dying younger today than they were many years ago.

I believe, to earn that peace of mind, takes more than just money. Not all the money in the world can buy you a peace of mind. Even with being rich, you have more worries. Ironic, isn't it? I came to realize that to have that peace of mind, all that is need is simple. It is something that comes from the moment we were born. It is something that is with us throughout our lives. It is something. And that something is..

Love.

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 22nd December, 0306hrs > Back to the top

I don't feel so good today. Must have been the running in the rain yesterday. Hopefully I feel better tomorrow.

Haiz... I hate being sick.

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 19th December, 2332hrs > Back to the top

I woke up the earliest today. The earliest in a damn long time. I woke up at 6.00am. I had to wake up this early to pack my stuffs before heading down to meet Karen and Mingdao at Bukit Gombak MRT at 7.30am. Mingdao and I were going for F.I.T Selection Programme. F.I.T stands for Fitness Innovation Team, and is a company dealing with outdoor adventure. Anyway Mingdao and I wasn't really interested in becoming camp instructors. We were there just to enjoy ourselves with the activities that they had planned.

After meeting up with Karen & Mingdao, we headed to the F.I.T Adventure Campsite, which is near CDANS Country Club. Karen left after directing us to the place as she had work. Once we reached, Mingdao and I had to register ourselves. During the registration, our wallets and handphones were confiscated. We were then told to wait for the other campers to arrive.

I got a pleasant surprise when I saw a familiar figure walk past by me to go to the registration counter. That person is none other than Huihui! The night before she had told me of her interests in going for the camp. She then told me that she won't be able to join in as her family will be having a xmas celebration on Saturday. And now, here she was, coming to join me after registering. It sure is good to see a familiar face at this camp. Plus it's good to see her again. =D

Huihui & me

Melvin & me

After most of the campers arrived, the programme kicked off with icebreaking games. During the course of the ice-breaker games, I realized that I was the 2nd oldest person in the selection programmes. On average, the rest of the campers were 18 years old. It felt a bit funny for awhile, but then the fun took over that funny feeling.

After ice-breakers, we headed off to the high elements grounds. Prior to this, we were all separated into 4 groups. Huihui and I ended up in the same group, whilst Mingdao got separated and was in a different group. At the high elements grounds, each group played at 1 part of the high elements. It was quite fun playing with the high elements. My only complain is that we were made to wear smelly helmets. The smell is so strong that you can smell it even when it's on your head. Yucks!

Once that was done with, we had lunch before playing their version of Amazing Race. The Amazing Race made us go to West Mall, Jurong East Library, Former Tang Dynasty and lastly Chinese/Japanese Gardens. We played a variety of games at each check-points, and those games were quite fun if not interesting to play. We even got to kayak in the river at Japanese/Chinese Gardens. That was tiring though, as we had to paddle with only our hands.

By the time the Amazing Race was over, it was time for dinner. However, before we can go for dinner, we had a session where we learnt some songs and cheers commonly used at camps. It was only after that could we have our dinner, which was a BBQ spread prepared by the staff there.

As after-dinner entertainment, each group had to dress up a member to be F.I.T 'mascot'. It's actually more of a cross-dress competition, using items such as aluminium foil, plastic cups, newspapers, trash bags and straws. The contestants then had to parade around the campsite to gather votes. It was such a hilarious sight! When the results was announced, my group won! What can I say, the guy was quite natural as a cross-dresser! Hahahaha....

Eventually I left for home after a quick supper with Karen and Mingao. It was pretty tiring but fun nonetheless.

The highlight for today happened when I got home. I got home to find 2 large envelopes on my table. In it were greeting cards from Pamela and Geoffrey! Wow... was really touched by the gesture. I've never received Christmas cards in a very long time. Anyway, thanks alot Pamela and Geoffrey! I appreciate the cards alot! =D

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 19th December, 2330hrs > Back to the top

A joke, titled 'Pride & Joy':

Four friends reunited at a party after 30 years.
After a few laughs and drinks, one of them had to go to the rest room.
The ones who stayed behind began to talk about their kids and their successes.
The first guy says," I am very proud of my son, he is my pride and joy.
He started working at a very successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration.
Soon he was promoted and began to climb the corporate ladder becoming the
General Manager and now he is the president of the company.
He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes Benz for his birthday."

The second guy says," Damn, that's terrific!! My son is also my pride and joy, I am very proud of him. He started working at a traveling agency for a very big airline. He went to flight school to become a pilot and also manage to become a partner in the company where he now owns the majority of the assets. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third guy says," Well, well, well congratulations!! My son is also my pride and joy and he is also very rich. He studied in the best universities and became an Engineer. He started his own construction company and became very successful and a multimillionaire. He also gave away some thing very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday. He built a 30,000 sq ft mansion specially for his friend."

The three friends congratulated each other mutually for the successes of theirs sons. The fourth friend who earlier had gone to restroom returned and asked," What's going on, what are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said," We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons.
And then he asked," What about your son?"

The fourth man replied," My son is gay and he makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said," What a shame that must be, that is horrible, what a disappointment you must feel."

The fourth man replied," No, I am not ashamed. Not at all. He is my son and I love him just as well, he is my pride and joy. And he is very lucky too. Did you know that his birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 sq ft mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes Benz from his three boyfriends?"

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 19th December, 1724hrs > Back to the top

It's been a long time since I went clubbing. That 'time-off' has now come to an end (for now) as I made my way down to China Black for my school's year-end bash and pageant. I've always wondered why they call it 'bash'. Anyone care to enlighten me?

Well, firstly met up with Weiyang, Kervin, Larry, Desmond, Jez, Diana, Gail and Amy at Far East Plaza to have our dinner. Thereafter we headed to China Black itself. Surprisingly there was already a queue outside the entrance of Pacific Plaza. We joined in, and soon found our way into the club.

The Real Pageant Finalists (Male): (clockwise from left) Kervin, Desmond, Larry, Weiyang, Jez & Me

The Real Pageant Finalists (Female): Gail, Diana & Amy

Soon after, the event kicked off, starting with a performance by the SIM Dance Club. The dance performance was really good. After that, the hosts for the event came up and soon, the pageant kicked into action. Disappointingly, there was only 1 segment of catwalk/parading by the contestants. Even more disappointing was the results. The hot favorites didn't win. The judges must have been blind or drunk.

Eventually the music rolled in and the dancing began. Besides dancing, I went around taking photos. Good thing my digital camera wasn't so bulky. Haha...

The dancing went on till late and soon it was time to head home. It had been a fun night. Oh, and the event had been a very successful one. Kudos and congrats to the organizers, the SIM-UOL SRC (Student Representative Council) Projects Department, for a job well-done! =D

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 19th December, 1702hrs > Back to the top

Artist: Gwen Stefani
Album: Love, Angel, Music, Baby
Title: What You Waiting For?
***********************

What an amazing time.
What a family.
How did the years go by?
Now its only me.

Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
La, la, la, la, la, la, la

Like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car
A scary conversation, shut my eyes, can't find the brake
What if they say that your a clutter?

Naturally I'm worried if I do it alone
Who really cares cause it's your life?
You never know it could be great

Take a chance cause you might grow
Oh, oh ohhh

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for?

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for?

Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock

Take a chance you stupid ho

Like a echo pedal you're repeating yourself.
You know it all by heart, why are you standing in one place?
Born to blossom, bloom to perish.

Ya know you're only known cuz of your sex chromosome.
I know its so messed how our society all thinks (for sure)
Life is short, your capable (uh-huh)

Oh, oh ohhh
Look at your watch now

You're still a super hot female
You got your million dollar contract
and they're all waiting for your hot track

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for

I can't wait to go back into Japan
Get me lots of brand new fans
Osaka, Tokyo
You Harajuku girls
Damn, you've got some wicked style

Go!

Look at your watch now
You're still a super hot female
You got your million dollar contract
And they're all waiting for your hot track

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for?

What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting
What you waiting for?

What you waiting for?
What you waiting for?

(What you waiting for?)
Take a chance you stupid ho

Take a chance you stupid ho

What you waiting for?
What you waiting for?

(What you waiting for?)
Take a chance you stupid ho

Take a chance you stupid ho

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 19th December, 0115hrs > Back to the top

I almost forgot that I have dance class today! Haha... today's my 2nd lesson for dance class, and I almost forgot about it. That didn't stop me from being late for it as well. Anyway, got in, got changed and got dancing!

Today there was a portable CD player around, so we had music to dance to! Haha.. it felt so much different, felt better to be dancing with music. Hehe.. the first lesson we had to do some practice and a routine without music. Oh well... today's lesson covered the remaining of the basics which saw us bump and ripple. I had trouble keeping up. I suppose I was feeling tense somehow. Must have been the fact that I came in late. When I finally got to relaxing, class was over. Till next week then.

After class I rushed down to Orchard to meet up with Davania. Today was Dean & Dav Day Out to Town! Haha... the master and his apprentice, out to take on Orchard! We hadn't meet up in a darn long time too. Most of the time, we catch up whenever we could on MSN. I was in for a surprise when Davania arrived. She said that it'll be her treat today as a birthday present from her to me. I was touched by that. Thank you so much Davania, for the present.

We had dinner at Cahaya Restaurant in Far East Plaza. Both of us were really hungry, and it showed in the food we ordered! We had Chicken Fried Rice, Sambal Kang Kong, Prawn Fritters, Fried Wanton and Tom Yam Soup. The table was literally overflowing with good food. After finishing it, we did have a bit of trouble moving. So we lingered for a while, chatting away.

When it felt right, we left the place and went on to fine a good place to chill. We dropped by Takashimaya for Davania to post her mom's cheques. After that, we headed down to Lips - The Cafe in Cineleisure. The ambience there is quite nice. The Oreo Cheesecake is a must try! Oh well, we chatted away and exchanged riddles and jokes till the cafe closed. But that didn't stop us from continuing. We sat down at a bench and talked on. It felt really good to be catching up with Davania. My only regret is that we weren't able to meet up earlier as planned.

Eventually we had to part our ways. I look forward to meeting up with her again, hopefully soon.

Davania & Me (Taken before we parted)

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 17th December, 0504hrs > Back to the top

I've been looking forward to this day for quite some time. Today's event had been planned since October. My enthusiasm was so great that for the first time in a long time, I was early for class! Haha... but attending lecture isn't the highlight of the day.

The highlight for today is the gathering of my former classmates from junior college! Most of us hadn't seen each other close to almost a year (some even longer than that). Hence many of us answered the 'mobilization call' quite enthusiastically. Since we were all from the Computing class, we planned the event mostly through emails. Eventually, the day is here.

We met up at Heeren, the plan being to have dinner at Marche before chilling out somewhere. I arrived on time to find Dick, Kelvin, Tong Chuan, Nern Jie, Zoe and Grace there. Thereafter we were joined by Yin Yee, Yu Han, Steven, Kok Keong, Mar Vin, Yew Minh, Dawn and lastly Joelle. Those who couldn't join us: Wendy wasn't feeling well, Akiro had been kept busy with his project, Adam was lost in AMK S-11 I think, Hwee Kian is missing in action, Leonard had just touched down, Standen had gone missing since 1999 and Lee Yiing was busy riding his bike. Those absent are required to write a letter of explanation. =P

Anyway in Marche we managed to get a pair of tables which somehow reminded us of the tables in the canteen in school. It was fun chatting, joking around and catching up with each other. Some of us were already working, whilst the rest of us (me included) are still schooling. Nonetheless, our class spirit was still there. Looks-wise, all of us had changed. However, character-wise, the changes didn't seem obvious. Perhaps there was no change for some of us?

Lucky for us, we had Sylvester Sim joining us for dinner. Actually it's Kelvin. He had cut his hair in a way that made him look like Sylvester. That was by accident too. He had been away in Australia all this while, and didn't even know who Sylvester is even after returning. But he shared with us that people had mistaken him for the Singapore Idol finalist. Thereafter wherever we went some of us will jokingly call him 'Sylvester' out loud. It did make people look! Haha...

After dinner we took photos around the table before heading out to chill. Initially we had wanted to chill at the coffee club outlet diagonally across the street from Heeren, but that place was packed! Even Starbucks behind it was full. Eventually we settled down at the lounge in Meritus Mandarin.

That's when the catching up continued. It almost seemed endless! The company was good, and the session was very enjoyable. It felt really good to see almost everyone again. It felt even better to be meeting up after so long. Like Steven said, we should have this gathering more often.

Soon the time came for us to part. Parting did seem like the last thing on our minds. It was dragged on for quite a bit. However, the thought of missing the last train finally ensure we part our own ways.

As I think back, I miss those days in college with the class. We had all been together for a short time. Yet in the span of time we had quite a handful of good (and some bad) memories. More importantly, we had built up a friendship that have lasted us through the years. Here's to many more years to come. Take care all, and keep in touch!

The Class Of 971S15 (7 years and few people missing later)

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 17th December, 0438hrs > Back to the top

Wow! Not much of a Sunday to share. The weather was extra cool thanks to the rain. I had planned on climbing today. But the weather made sure I stay in bed. Actually, my own body made sure I stayed in bed. The lack of sleep had cumulated through-out the week. With the good experience I had yesterday, I was able to get a much needed rest. Of course, I had touched my bed at only 515am this morning. And slept through much of the day to wake up at around 530pm today. Lucky for me, dinner was there when I finally got out of bed. Good rest, good food, I can't think of asking for anything more!

A simple Sunday indeed.

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 14th December, 0351hrs > Back to the top

It's near the end of Hari Raya, and it ended with almost a big bang for me. I went to my auntie's place for her annual Hari Raya open house. Plenty of food to go around. Did my catching up with my cousins. As I look back now, I realized that I've not seen much of my relatives for quite some time now. Perhaps it's about time I spend some time with them, especially my paternal grandmother. Age is catching up with her. Yes, spending time with family. This is something that I will work on, and procrastinate less. You see, at the end of the day, blood is thicker than water. I won't be here if it wasn't for my parents, and they won't have been here if it wasn't for their grandparents, and so on and so forth. Many a times we get so wrapped up in our own lives that we tend to forget the things that matter most, or take them for granted. Many more on this view on life in days to come. For now, all I want to share is that, it's better to have done something today than to regret tomorrow for not doing it today.

After visiting my relatives, I met up with Weiyang and together we went to Sharon's place. We were there to celebrate her birthday. She was having a party at her place. It wasn't the typical birthday party. Mainly because the party mood seemed to be absent from the party itself. Weiyang, Jez and I ended up playing with a deck of cards just to pass the time away. It would have been different if Weiyang had known how to play 'daidee'. Anyway, eventually the cake cutting event came. Jez, Weiyang and I immediately left after we took pics with Sharon. Weiyang and I were rushing down to Orchard to meet up with Diana. Personally I was looking forward to meeting up with Diana. We haven't meet up in a while.

After meeting up in Orchard, the three of us went for supper at Lau Pa Sat before taking a slow walk towards Fullerton. Initially we wanted to chill under Benjamin Sheares Bridge. But the tiredness caught on to us and so we settled at the bridge near One Fullerton. It was a very simple and comfortable chill out session. We chit chat, joked around, took photos and enjoyed the world passing by. We could have stayed up for hours. However, tiredness took it's toll on us so we headed back around just past midnite. Though the session was short, it was very enjoyable, every minute of it. No doubt, it's the friends I'm with that made it good.

Diana & Weiyang

Diana & me

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 14th December, 0343hrs > Back to the top

I've learnt for quite some time now that having balance in life results in harmonious living. Once you have balance out the various aspects of your life thinks will just look good and turn out good for you. The aspects of life includes your emotions, mental state, physical form, financial situation and so on. Of course, this balance will not be there for long. Events beyond our control will occur that will tip the balance. Yet we can still manage such changes and maintain that balance. The key lies in having that desire to have that balance. Having desire is not enough though. One must also be proactive in taking actions to fulfill this desire. It's easily said of course. Yet as I found out, not that easy to do.

At the present moment, I am again facing emotional turmoil. Yet somehow I've managed to mask the pain and hell that I am going through from the world. I suppose, it has to do with my inability to express my feelings clearly. That, or it's simply because I've grown accustomed to the suffering. Either way doesn't sound good for me. But of course, when life is not in balance, everything's just isn't right. Slowly, but surely, my emotional instability has affected my other aspects of life. I've been getting less sleep, have trouble sleeping, am not able to focus on things in general, get lost in my own mind, began to appreciate things less, become unhappy, become moody and so on. Yet on the surface, things are not as bad as it should be. It's the grim perception of life that makes things look bad and makes me do things badly. A perception that grows darker as my emotional turmoil remains unchecked and uncontrolled.

So is there a remedy for this ailment? Yes there is. Yet the remedy has consistently eluded me. Whenever I am close to achieving balance, something happens to throw me off the scale. Whenever I start to feel whole, my life gets turned upside down and becomes empty again. Each time this happens, my frustrations grow, amongst other things. The consolation I can give myself is that I've managed to control my frustrations. After all, being angry just waste times.

I once thought that if I neglect my emotions, become cold and in a way appear to have no heart, then perhaps I will get some balance in my life. I started to care less about people, focused more on myself and did what I could to close myself up from the people around. It worked, but only for a while. The pain came back, in some ways stronger than before. What I had done was to push my emotions down. But like a spring, it bounced back at me. It led me to learn that we can't deny who we are, nor can we neglect what's inside us. It also made me realized that what I had done was just hurting myself more. So time to change strategy. Except that I can't think of any strategy.

Previously, a solution did come to me, not in any way that I expect it. It came from a game. A game I played with a friend. While we were playing this game, it was for the fun and entertainment. Yet as we played the game, I began to find ways to bring my emotional turmoil under some balance. I began to get some balance in my life. It's not something that I planned or expected. As time goes by, it's something that just happened. However, one day, the game ended. Once again, as I neared balance, it was taken away from me. Once again, I feel sad. Once again, my life lies in jeopardy.

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

- Superman by Five For Fighting.

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 12th December, 0323hrs > Back to the top

Climbing day today! Went down to Climb Asia to climb with Ronghui. It's my first time climbing there actually, though it's my 2nd time visiting the place. The main reason I don't go there often is that it's pretty inconvenient place to go from home. However, it has good indoor climbing facilities. Sufficient for the average climber.

Since I haven't been climbing in a long time, I wasn't able to climb much today. It didn't help that my body is suffering from lack of sleep/rest. Initially I felt discourage by my bad 'form'. However, as I climbed more, I began to enjoy myself. It feels great to be climbing again. It's probably because I'm doing something I like which makes it the more enjoyable.

After climbing for some time, I went into the climbing shop to look around. My friends had given me a voucher as a present, one which I could use at the shop. After much contemplating and debating, I settled for a hangboard. A hangboard is kind of like a large sized climbing hold. One can use it for finger-strengthening exercise, among other things. It can also double up as a pull up bar. I decided on that as I figured with the hangboard, I can bring climbing into my home. It's a start anyway.

I had quite a bit of trouble carrying the bulky box home. It's a good thing that I still have my strength after all that climbing. Once I got home, changed clothes, drop the hangboard at home and left for work.

Once I reached Yishun SAFRA, met up and catch up with friends and colleagues there. The place has changed a bit. More changes are coming as well, but all in good time. I won't want to spoil the surprise now. Hehe...

All in all, today, was truly a good day. =D

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 10th December, 0100hrs > Back to the top

Went to Sim Lim today. Met up with Su Anne and Diana from AP Communications. Su Anne is my supervisor, and Diana is a colleague. Today, Diana and I will be working as a mystery shopper! Our role as the mystery shopper is to pretend to be shopping for systems and ask shops to install pirated software. If the salesperson attending to us refuse the service of installing pirated software, they will be rewarded. Otherwise, they won't get rewarded. The reward? $20 cash. Sounds quite fun right? It sure was!

I really enjoyed myself walking into shops, pretending to be shopping and then rewarding people. It helped that the Christmas mood is in the air. In a way, I was giving presents. Haha... of course, the present has to be earned by being good.

The work ended pretty fast as there wasn't much shops to cover. Will be looking forward to next week, when I'll be working as a mystery shopper again! Yay!

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 10th December, 0045hrs > Back to the top

Had my first dancing lesson today, with the SIM Dance Club. It was held at Attitude Dance Studio over at Bukit Timah Plaza.

Today's lesson was the start of the Hip Hop dance routine. The dance instructor, Ryan, was good in bringing up the mood amongst the students. Initially quite a number of us were pretty tense since this was our first lesson. However, he helped us relaxed. And being relaxed is important in Hip Hop. You need to chill...

We covered a few basics today, mainly bounce, point and twirl. We even did a series of dance sequences which I think is part of a performance. Anyway, the sequence got everyone worried a bit for a while, as we kept doing mistakes here and there. Still, we learnt from each other and managed to do better towards the end. Unfortunately though, during practice the music was cut off. The sound system at the studio wasn't able to support Hip Hop music. Major bummer...

After dance, my body kind of ache all over. Haven't been exercising in a while. Good thing I have dance today. It's refreshing from my routine. I believe that's how life should be. Refreshing and different now and then.

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 10th December, 0015hrs > Back to the top

Woke up late today. Missed my lunch meet up with Rae in school. So sorry for that Rae.

Once I reached school, I joined Weiyang for our lecture. Lecture passed by really fast. I suppose being late for class can give you that feeling. During break, I went to find Huihui to pass her CD. She was studying with Lewis at that time. After class, I joined her again, this time to read my book and kill time. I was going to meet up with Kuai Yee after school, but we were only going to meet up at 7pm. Hence I had plenty of time to kill. During this time, I managed to chit chat with Junliang, Lewis and Rae. They were all at the same study area.

Rae & me

Then it was time for me to leave. I got on the train with Rae and her friend David. During the train ride, we tried to catch up as much as we could.

Once I reached Bugis, met up with Kuai Yee. We were joined by Ee Hao and Kuai Yee's boyfriend. Had celebration dinner together at Billy Bomber's. Spent some time there catching up. Before we realized it, the place was almost closing. The sign to leave. All good times had to come to an end. So was ours. We left on our own ways thereafter.

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 8th December, 0315hrs > Back to the top

Went to Tampines today, this time to meet up with Jenny. It was a simple celebration this time. We had lunch, she got me a cheesecake with candles on it and gave me my gift. We then stayed on to catch up on old times before parting on our separate ways. Thanks Jenny, for making time for me. Lucky for me, she was flying off till tomorrow. Oh well, till next time. Hopefully I don't have to wait till next year. Haha..

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 8th December, 0259hrs > Back to the top

Met up with Sherlyn and Angeline today. We went to Shaw Towers for lunch before walking around at Bugis Junction. Thereafter we settled down at Starbucks for coffee, catching up and celebration. We haven't seen each other for a long time hence there was plenty to catch up on. Jokes and jabs flew around and before we knew it, it's time for dinner. Time sure past by fast when you're having fun. Anyway I didn't eat as I was going to meet up with Weiyang and some of the Entes for dinner. I was happily chatting away when I realized that I was going to be late! Immediately left the place to head for Holland Village. Sorry to leave you ladies in such a rush.

Took a train, then a cab and very soon, I was in Fosters with Diana, Desmond, Larry and Kervin. The rest had not arrived yet. Anyway, I kind of blend in with the crew at Fosters. They wore a red top and black pants/jeans. I was wearing a red shirt and black pants. Lucky me.

Whilst awaiting the others to arrive, I browsed through the menu. It didn't seem like Fosters have anything outstanding to offer. Soon after, Weiyang arrived, followed by Casey and Gail. And that was just about it. I mentioned that I was in a rush so we made our orders.While waiting for the food, all of us engaged in some chit-chat and photo-taking. It was then the group gave Weiyang the present that we shared, and I passed to him the present that I bought for him as well. He too passed me the present that Entes had got for me. Thanks a lot for the present, I like it! It was kind of funny to be exchanging presents in a way. Kind of reminds me of Christmas. =P

Food came, and went in fast for me (I was in a rush). By the time I was done, the rest was still halfway through. I was about to leave when Diana mentioned something halfway then stopped. It didn't take a genius to realize that they had something planned for after dinner. It wouldn't be nice to leave after all that planning. So I stayed.

Right after dinner, there it was. The birthday cake. One cake to celebrate 2 birthdays. Yup, that's right, 2 birthdays. One is Weiyang's, whose birthday is on 30th Nov, and the other is mine. Yippee~! Diana picked the cake, chocolate cake in fact. Very delicious. It was kind of funny when it came to the part of the singing and blowing out of the candle. Eventually Weiyang and I blew out the candle together. I cut the cake once, Weiyang cut the cake once, then we passed the cake to Gail, our official cake cutter. Haha... after finishing the cake, I rushed off to Nicole's place. I was really running late. Still, thanks a great lot to all for that wonderful celebration.

D&G! The Birthday Boys..

Dean making a wish..

Gabriel making a wish...

Group photo! Smile everyone!

Lesson learnt: It's damn hard to get a cab on Saturday night at Holland Village. I waited and waited for about 15mins, and still no cab. Eventually I took a bus down. The plan was to stop near SIM and take a cab to Nicole's place. The bus I had boarded didn't go to her place. Anyway, after I alighted, I waited. And waited. And still no cab! Damn it! Soon after I had no choice but to board another bus, this time one that went to Choa Chu Kang area. I alighted somewhere within CCK and waited for a cab. Finally, I got onto the cab. The funny thing was the cab just drove straight for a while and stopped! I had alighted from the bus close to where Nicole was staying!

By the time I reached Nicole's place, the party was over. There was only her JC friends left. Lucky for me, Joy, Ivy, Yingjie, Junliang and Huihui were there. If not, I would have felt out of place. Nicole and I exchanged birthday greetings with each other, then I gave Nicole her birthday present from me. After that, we had a bit of chatting, I ate cake and pretty soon, it was time to leave. Today will be the last day I'll see Nicole, before she leave for her trip to India. She'll be back only after Christmas thereafter. Have fun Nicole!

Nicole & me

Then, after a long day, it was finally, home sweet home.

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 8th December, 0240hrs > Back to the top

Met up with Yvonne today, to celebrate my birthday with her. We had lunch at Far East before going around Orchard to do some shopping. She passed me a book too, called 'Tuesdays With Morris. It's a book that she recommended me to read. I was supposed to get the 'Da Vinci Code' by Dan Brown from her, but her cousin had taken it back. Oh well, another day.

Anyway, we did some shopping. I was shopping around for presents for Nicole and Weiyang. We travelled from Far East to Wisma to Takashimaya to Borders before I finally found the ideal presents for the both of them. Hope they'll like it.

After all that walking, we settled down at Coffee Express or something like that in Takashimaya. I ordered the cake of the day, which was wildberry cheesecake. She had mudpie. When the cake arrived, I had a pleasant surprised which really made my day...

Cheesecake had a candle!!

Making a wish...

Yup, there was a candle on my cake! I was really touched by the gesture. Haha.. what made it more memorable was that it's my first birthday cake for this new age (while we were chit-chatting I shared with her about the celebration I had the day before). I made a wished, blew out the candle and never stopped grinning since.

Can't stop grinning...

Yvonne & me

Thank you Yvonne, for that wonderful gift.

- signed, sealed and delivered by deAn on 7th December, 0448hrs > Back to the top

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to... cry if I want to.. cry if I want to... you would cry too if it happened to you....." - taken from a very old song, which I don't know the title. Anyone care to enlighten me?

First and foremost, I will like to thank you for the greetings, well-wishes and gifts. What touched me most is the fact you remembered this special day of mine and that you took time to share it with me through the celebrations and the well-wishes. It's these things that make life delightfully worthwhile. Hence I am grateful for the pleasant memories that today and days to come will bring. Once again, thank you.

Secondly, is my birthday 'reflection'. Here I am, a year older. Yet I still feel young, not as young as the day I was born, but still, young enough to enjoy life and take things as it comes. I've experienced plenty since my last birthday and learnt a lot. Does that make me wiser? Perhaps. Have I become a better person? Let's see...

I know for sure now that I have a better direction in life. I've made my plans for the years to come. Roughly I know what I want and where I want to be in the future. The details are not full, so the plans are not thorough. Still, it's a start. However planning is just a map. It shows me where I want to go and my idea on how to get there. Life is still an unpredictable yet wonderful journey. Events will occur that can cause me to change plans, make new ones. I may not be prepared for it. Yet I believe I can adapt to it. So does that make me a better person?

I learnt that being the friendly guy can land me in some pretty tricky situations. In the past year often I've experienced being caught in the middle of quarrels and squabbles that stretched me two ways. For example, I am a friend to A and B. One day A and B had some arguments that strained their friendship till they're not on friendly terms. Where once A, B and me used to hang out together, now we can't. And when I do meet up with either A or B, much of times is devoted on one talking bad about the other. Sure, I can be the mediator to settle the argument. However, as always, things aren't that simple. It's already hard to get A & B to sit down together, it's even harder when both are stubborn and refused to see the error of their ways. So where does that put me? Still stuck in between. So does that make me a better person?

I've found myself being more tolerant of people hence I've made less people angry through my actions (I hope) and found myself able to control my anger towards others. Of course, there have been occasions when people pushed me beyond my limits and literally pissed me off. I can recall of only 4 incidents. Perhaps there may have been more. If there were, I can't remember them. I've made a point to try and forget these unhappy occasions. Forgive and forget, as they say. It's not easy, but it's not impossible. After all, people make mistakes. It's better to be happy than living a life of misery. And it seems, most misery comes from within. I mean, most people create their own misery. Me, I just try to spread the joy, fun, laughter and happiness. So does that make me a better person?

Within the past year I learnt to listen better. Listening is a skill and an art that takes some practicing. And you know others better just by listening. For the guys, take a lesson on listening. Your lady friends will appreciate you more that way. For the ladies, poke the ears of your guy friends if they don't listen when you open up. ;) Anyway, it is through listening that I learnt to differentiate better the rights, the wrongs and the grey areas in many aspects of life. I even found out how to dress better, take care of my skin better and where to get the best stuffs in town. Haha.. see.. these are just some of the fringe benefits of listening. Well, does being a good listener make me a better person?

I found myself caring more for others than I normally did before. It is strange. Even when I think I am being 'bochup', I end up doing things which shows I care. Perhaps it's due to the books I've been reading. One thing I've learnt from reading is that people become better when they've been appreciated and their feelings given the right affirmations. I guess caring is a way to go about doing it. So does that make me a better person?

I have to declare that I am no angel. I've done some things within the past year that I am not proud of. I have faced the consequences, and in some cases, I'm still experiencing the retribution. Likewise, I'm no devil either. I believe I'm entitled to being bad, to a certain extent. I can be evil, I can be mean, but I'm no devil, I'm just Dean!

Well, in conclusion, I believe that within the past year, I've become a better person. Not the best the world have seen. So stay with me, the best is yet to be. =D

- signed and delivered by deAn on 6th December, 0425hrs

Dean's Day: This year is much different from other years. I hadn't plan on a usual celebration, hence the one I had today was pretty unusual. Haha... well, what I did was to invite my close group of friends over to my house under for Hari Raya visiting. In all the years we have known each other they've never stepped into 'Dean's Fortress'. This is the first.

I met up with Ronghui, Zonghao, Carol, Sok Bee and Ben at Yishun MRT before bringing them over to my place. Mingdao was late and will be coming down on his own. Lunch was ready when we arrived. I made a brief intro to my family before inviting everyone to the dining table.

Just after everyone ate, curiosity got the better of my younger sisters and they began chatting with my friends. They provided the after lunch entertainment, so to speak. Haha... Ronghui had also bought a few scratch and win cards which he passed on to me. We were hoping to win something. But then, no such luck. Better luck next year. Hehe... thereafter we took some photos, had some catching up before Ben presented me with my present. Thanks a lot everyone! Really appreciate the mini-celebration we had. No cake though. Haha.. Well, after all, this is the unusual birthday)